Let Me Fade

So, I'm here again, not feeling anything, may be a lil scared though, of all the happiness which I'm dreaming of. Strange, how even dreams of happiness scare me. Anyway, it is not like I'm retarted or something, always depreciating my self worth. Or maybe I'm, I don't know what to think of myself as I sink lower into the pit of self pity. Somedays are good, somedays are better but it is when I look back & think of all those things which happen around me, make me believe may be I'm the one who's jinxed. I'm the one who doesn't deserve peace or smiles. May be it is fine when ppl hate me. May be this is normal for me. At least I can't screw this up, right?

See, I see a silver lining, who says I'm not an optimistic guy? :)

So this is what I wrote again asking you not to love me, though I'm sure you don't but in my dreams you do. So, to ease the pain I'm breaking my dreams on my own. I swear it doesn't hurt that way :)

I falter at every step I take
as I breathe I make a mistake
I'm not the person to be with
what can I bring you
other than pain
you need someone
who says the right things
who doesn't have battles to fight
who will keep you safe
unlike me
I can't even save me from me

Let me fade
even from your memories
as you fly high
high in the skies

I fight my own demons
I lose to everyone of 'em
I'm scared of nightmares
& I come with nothing but strain
I'll drown you with me
you need someone
who lets you rest
who doesn't have nightmares to scare you away
unlike me
I can't even save me from me

Let me fade
even from your memories
as you fly high
high in the skies