Scattered Thoughts

Sunday 31 May 2015

Normal Days #46

 Nine Inch Nails

No! No! No!

No sexual entry, no innuendos, nothing raunchy. C'mon I know I've got a reputation but this isn't about any of those things. This post is about my fear, my phobia, if you must know. It is about the offshore industry and the stupid rules they have.

As you all know I work in offshore and I've to commute by chopper every month when I'm coming and going to & fro from work. The first time they gave me chopper induction (safety instructions) and showed me some videos how I've to sit and behave in chopper I thought this is the last time I'm going to live. I prayed and thought of all my sins which I'd committed till that date, trust me the list never ends, and I thought dude I'd be one damn lucky SOB if I came out of that alive.

Pardon the theatrics but seriously that is the scariest thing I ever had to do. It involves a dummy chopper, a 10m deep swimming pool, and 4, are you reading it, 4 times it will revolve me under that swimming pool and I've to get out of that chopper 4 times, one after the other. It is not that I'm afraid of water but the thing is that I'd be tied up with the seat belt. I can't move till the chopper turns and capsizes, release the seat belt, push the window and come up for air. This whole procedure takes hardly 15~18 secs but trust me this is the horror of the story and this is mandatory for every offshore personnel irrespective of designation.

I've to do that in May-2016, I'm scared out of my wits and I've no shame in admitting that I'm a coward when it comes to situations where I'm dependent on others for my life. Pray for my life ppl, pray that I live to see another day, live to love another day coz if I came alive out of this I'll be free from this shenanigans for next 4 years.

Love Me 2 Times I'm going away

(To be Contd..)

Friday 22 May 2015

Normal Days #45

Love me like you do

Here I'm amidst the lonely sea and empty skies, counting the days when I'd be home again in arms of my lovely wife.

Yes, this is my first post as a married person, as a husband. To be honest it feels different, not in whole I'm in love kind of different but different as in responsible different. Like I've this person who is all for me and I've to be all for her. Given my past, about which she all knows, she still says "I'll always love you no matter what." And though I know her trust in me is very strong as of now but if I know me, she will find it very hard to love me no matter what. I can pray and wish that I don't so anything stupid to break her heart again.

All I'd was words and when she knew that I've said 'em all to some other girls the only person who matters the most in my life was not happy, she was sad and I hope that she isn't sad anymore coz I'll do anything in my power to make her smile all my life. I know I don't deserve her but then may be there was some good left in me and God decided to give me last chance with the blessings He has been showering on me. I'm in love with my wife not coz I'm supposed to just coz I'm, there is no reason for being in love and she loves me too. Or I like to hope that coz the way I broke her heart with all the antics from my past she has all the right to leave me but then I know she loves me and from now on all my life is for her.

So babe, this is for you, my love for you, coz I know from now on I can never love, never look at anyone else but the most beautiful you.

You can take my breath away

(To be Contd..)