Scattered Thoughts

Sunday, 29 September 2013

Fading Memories

let me be hidden
in your memories
& let me fade
even from there
one day
when we meet
let us act strange
we once knew
each other
now let's forget
even the names
but what we can do
if heart remembers
every promise
every kiss
& then let's
we are strangers
lost when
I slipped away..

Wednesday, 18 September 2013

One Day

One day you'll stop loving me
start disliking me
hating me
I'll give u reasons
I think
I don't deserve
to be loved
any more

One day
you'll be loved
like a princess
by a prince
you'll be wished
like a fairy
by a kid

One day
you'll be gone
from my arms
& I'll be dreaming
like I always do

Please don't love me
as I'm also
not loving me

but I'll be wishing for you too
for the smiles to be you
for the dreams
that that day
I should've given
me one chance
to tell you
without you
I'm falling apart
I'm scared
that one day
you won't love me

Sunday, 15 September 2013

Normal Days #4

Today, as fate has already decided for me, I'll be writing about making thy own grave. The part where you sabotage your happiness on your own. Most of the ppl I know do that a lot actually.

Sometimes time isn't by your side and sometimes that happens so often that you think if you have been cursed. Believe me, the time you want to be left alone is also the time you want to be loved and loved so much that all your fears get washed away. Talk about hitting the axe on your own foot. You do all the wrong things, send the wrong signals to the ppl who care about you or at least pretend do, even pretending seems to take much of an effort, so kudos to them. Pushing ppl away and then secretly wish someone would call your bluff and love you, hug you and tell you that they love you no matter what, not a dream that could come true my friend. Sometimes you want to be alone and wonder if it is the right thing to do. Sometimes there aren't much of right things to do, there are all wrong things but you might have to choose which the least wrong. You know you're doing wrong by escaping into the oblivion but there's no wrong & right. These are the choices which we make to save our sanity.

Love which I so fervently talk about might not be true, it might get lost in the time frame but never let it get lost from you. You always have to believe that love will be coming around for you and those who love you will accept you for what you're.

I know this write is nothing new what you haven't heard since you were growing up but being alone sometimes let the hurt fade away. It helps you to know that no matter what you say or believe some ppl are destined to be alone. They are to hope that love exists in fairy tales and not for them. May be it is true but some of us choose to believe that fairy tales do come true and when they are about to come true well all we can hope not to disrupt the ending by doing something stupid and hence the hiding away. But no matter what we do fate catches up and let us know that love isn't for everybody, for some it is always in pages of books and in some fantasy. Love sure is over rated when I come to think of it. But I'll always believe in love. Hurting the ones you love, disappointing people who believe in you, failing miserably keeping up the hopes, join the club.

See all the magic of nights, colors of nature, vastness of oceans all these things might remind you of someone but you've no one but you and darkness which slowly is engulfing the loneliness in darkness too.

Confusing today..naah not so much. Feeling down..may be.
May be tomorrow is a better day.

(To be contd..)

Thursday, 12 September 2013

Normal Days #3

Today I'll be writing about a book and the feeling related to it "Infinite Love."

My best friend doesn't approve of that book and I know it is kind of erotic (the book is erotic & her disapproval is kind of annoying, in case you're getting a wrong idea) but what I've learnt from the book is, love always sees you through. No matter how hard for you is the time you're going through but at the end of the day if you're with the person you love nothing else can matter.

I'm known to stray away from the plans so if you find nothing about the book but much about the love please don't complain. You can send me the hate mail though :D
The point of this write is to mention that no matter where you're you can always find love. And just so be clear I mean love as an operative term, not conservative. Like you can find love how two kids are playing in snow, how a mother and her kid daughter are arguing about dolls which she'd to have because one of her friends has a better already than her previous collection, how a dad giving a fatherly advice to a 10 year old son & how his son is looking up to him like his father is even better than superman and how when a guy look at a girl like he'll always love her even when they are old & deaf, how he'd ask her out the next time, how he'd propose, how they'd celebrate their love and how everybody hopes to have their story to go till the end.

Today I won't dwell on to the dark side of losing and giving up. It is all about how love can be so precious that you'll always play putty into the hand of it. Love makes you do all the crazy things, it is a cliche I know it but isn't it true? Aren't all the cliches true? I have this feeling that when you're in love you should let yourself fall hard. Don't brace yourself. Let go of all the doubts, let go of all the hesitations because if you're not falling hard what's the point of being in love? Right!!

Feel the magic, feel the flowers blooming like your heart and believe when you're in love no matter how bad things go there is always love to count upon. Always. And no I'm not mentioning 'The Bible' in this write of mine. But you must be knowing what I want to say.

Spring is here, fall in love, fall hard and those who are in love already find out more reasons to fall in love with the moments you are in love with. and those who think they need someone to fall in love with, well, there's always love to fall in love with. Be in love with the love and then you'll be enjoying the gloomy winters too because white and cold sometimes makes us appreciate the cold & dark.

Confusing? Well there's always hate mail :)

I know there was no mention of the book but let it be for some other time & other some other title, for now, love and fall hard.

(To be contd..)

Sunday, 8 September 2013

Normal Days #2

Welcome again.
Second post in a single day, something is wrong with me. I'm at home, I've not read a single line since I'm back here, I'm sleeping at wee hours waking up almost at noon everyday. Something sure is wrong. Though I'm not here to discuss my calender if that's what you're wondering about. Like always I'll talk about my muse, love.

The strange thing about love is, sometimes you don't find it at the place you expect it to be. The people you count upon are most likely to put you down. The blessings that you were counting don't turn up and after that you feel alone, you feel lost, you've no one to love you, no one to listen to your silent pleas to be with you. There is not a single person in this whole wide world to whom you can speak your heart out. You have to put faces so that the world believes that you're doing fine, you are living the perfect life. But after the sun sets and the dark prevails, when the stars lit up the sky and moon disappears and appears some nights leaving them alone, the whole world is lighten up by Christmas lights and you're celebrating all these festivities with the world. No one knows how lonely you're because you're in a perfect life. But as they say dark is when the light doesn't make any difference. That is the worst form, the dark of loneliness.

Have you ever felt alone? There are many things a man is afraid of, the worst is death. Being alone is the superlative of worst, if that can be said. You might be surrounded by all those ppl you love, those you think will always be there for you.

The good thing is I've learnt this lesson long ago that don't expect anything from anyone and you won't get hurt. Sometimes you wonder if leaving everything behind is the best option. Oblivion is underrated after all. This thought of leaving the circumstances is so engrossing which makes the love overrated. You wonder that if life is overrated too. But you hope, you believe that someday someone is going to love you so much that it will really feel like the dream. It will erase all the pain, all the aches from your heart. You will believe that you're not unlucky, ominous or some creep. Love will always find the way.

Well, one can always hope.
May we all find that one person, no matter who that is, who loves us, just love nothing else.

Yes I'm weird.

(To be contd..)

Normal Days #1

What I wrote yesterday might not have been making any sense but I think if I wanted to pour out my words on this white screen I should go with the same title instead of different posts every time I want to make me feel stupid.

And yes I'm still going to be weird. I can't help it.

Today it will be about heart wrenching. The feeling which you have when you wear your heart on your sleeve and go suicidal with it. It is different thing to yearn for something you can get, but to let this ache settle in your heart for something which you can never ever have, is simply, like I said, suicidal mission set up for your heart. But it can't be helped. We want what we want. I always like the stories, fantasies, dreams, realities where a person loves the other in-spite of knowing that for 'em there is nothing but pain in the long haul. Then why do they succumb themselves to such an agony? Why they don't, as the so called relationship adviser says, "Do something better."?

I guess the answer to that question is, and please forgive me if I use these prophecies in my every second write, but in my defense they are the best line ever. As I was saying ppl do succumb to the hardship becasue they believe that Love is always kind, love doesn't expect, doesn't resent...and all of it. Because when you're in love it is the reason enough to make the person smile you're in love with. You don't expect them to do anything for you because in the process of making them happy you're creating happiness for yourselves. I know ppl generally don't believe that it can be done in today's world but yes, it is all what love means. It means to give up everything for that person you love even yourself because in love there is no me & you it is always 'us.' And if you can't bare your soul with the person you love, you can't feel them like you in your body then you better don't call it love.

Please don't decipher from it that I'm asking to give up on your identity or all your dreams. It is a lil bit complicated than that. There should be no complications in love per se but hey, who said love is easy.


Well I've started to taking it as an compliment.

(To be contd..)

Saturday, 7 September 2013

Normal Days

There are somethings in life that you learn as you grow up. No school, no parent, no one can teach you what life will offer you at certain times and no matter how hard you try to let go of certain things sometimes you have to take that hard step ahead which is called moving on. Sometimes when you offer your heart when it is sure going to break what that makes you.

When you know that whatever dream you're chasing is never going to complete because you're wishing for moon. What you do? Do you call your friend and ask her how bigger of an idiot you are? Or do you lay low and grieve over the loss of things which were never yours to begin with?
I guess sometimes you have only dealt with the hand that has question marks cards on it. So, what to do then? To whom to turn for the help to find the pieces of the most complex puzzle called life?
And as always every problem as far as I'm concerned can be solved by turning to love. Love holds all the answers. Many have written about this and till the time we have actual apocalypse ppl will keep writing about it. So what am I doing here with another of my psychotic writes?

I'm feeling the pain. The pain which you feel when your lover leaves you, the pain you feel when all your dreams die, the pain you feel when you find you're all alone in this world and you've become so much pathetic that you fight with your imaginary friends over petty things. What kind of psycho does that to their friends?

In case you haven't noticed my writes all always about being alone, being neglected, being not able to experience affection a lot given with all of that I still believe in love. I still believe that love is always going to win. Love always has, always will. When you have to say someone that you love them sometimes you can say it with words, sometimes with your eyes, sometimes you remain silent and sometimes you do things they love and let them feel the love.

Always know that when you talk to person you love it always leads to a good.

(To be contd...)