Scattered Thoughts

Friday, 28 August 2015

Normal Days #55

Go Rest High On That Mountain

Well, this is not about me, or about the love, or about any of those things of which I write about constantly. And no this isn't about my weirdness or all the stupid thing I do. This is about those harsh realities of life which when befall on you, wind gets sucked out from your lungs. I can't say that this won't happen coz it is the ultimate truth, all I can pray is that God gives you strength and belief to bear in those time of doubt & uncertainty.

This post is about losing someone close to you. This post is for my dear, dearest sweetheart who recently lost one of her virtual friend and one of her family member. This is for the remembrance of those whom I never had the pleasure to meet and yet the stories, the pics I've seen tell me that they were are larger than life. Now, ppl say these terms like that for each other all the time but for me words don't come easy or cheap. I mean what all I say, well unless you gave me a reason to go back on my words.

Life is a very fragile thing, very delicate. It is attached with so many emotions, so many hopes, so many promises. And death, death is the finality, that truth we all know. We all are living, we have our own circle, own set of ppl we interact with, we grow close to someone who are not our immediate family, we share their laughter, we bask in their joy and we feel the same sadness with 'em too. And the stories I've heard about the person, the depth of emotion which ran through her when she related all those memories with me, I knew I'm lucky to witness such purity.

Memories will start fading away, you'll grow out of the mask of sadness, you'll laugh again too but there are some scars which will always be there. Some emptiness which will never be filled, you'll never be the same coz the loss you just had it will be void, like space. You'll only feel it. So, let it hurt, let it cry you out. Call God all the names, tell Him what He did was wrong. He had no right to uproot the pillar of the family, leaving everyone hurt and broken inside.

And then find me in that hour of darkness, I'll comfort you. I won't say I'll take away the pain but yes I'll share it. I'll listen to all your stories, I'll provide my coverall for you too clean that snot (I told you the reason over phn for that, didn't I), I'll be with you every step. You're never alone, you'll never be alone. If I couldn't make you smile through your tears, I'll just make you a cup of hot chocolate. How's that for some comfort?

I've got you girl, I've got you.

(To be Contd..)

Thursday, 27 August 2015

Normal Days #54

When Can I Kiss You Again

There were many ways how I thought this to start this post. I deleted the lines a couple of times also. I was not sure how to begin then I thought I'd write about the love I've for you, so this is going to be all about love, pretty girl.

First of all let me thank you for finding me again, for loving me with all that love and making we wish if I'd wings. You said I did have 'em, remind me the next time when we talk over phn and I'd be drowned in the husky and beautiful voice of yours. No, actually that's an excuse I just want to listen to you over and over again. You've an amazing voice. And of course you've to call me the name you've given me, I need to listen it. It sounded so good when you texted that, so don't think I'd just read it and won't hear it in that voice of yours.

I know lots is happening, and I'll write about that too. Just know I'm always there for you and I mean it. Every sense of the word. And when I'd kiss you, you'd know what I mean. The kiss which starts from the lips and spreads right into your soul, the kiss which will take all your pain away, the kiss which will take us to our private galaxy and we'd never come down.

I hope to hold your hand at this time, our fingers intertwined as we gaze in distance and cherish the memories of those years. The love which never dies even when the person goes to another realm. I'll write more about that kind of love, or explain to you in person when we'd meet. These topics are better discussed in person.

So, tell me when can I kiss you again,
I've to take you to another realm
Another space where there is no one
Just you & I and of course, lots of kissing is to be done ;)

You know me, I love the way you kiss. So, take my hand, whisper my name, close your eyes and feel the God, feel the love. It is enough for tonight, we will talk more. I promise.

(To be Contd..)

Wednesday, 26 August 2015

Nacreous (Harmony Run #4) by Sarah Elle Emm

~ Release Day Blitz ~

About the Book:
After two members of The Freedom Front are arrested and interrogated by the UZTA’s tyrannical President Nicks, Rain Hawkins and her friends face the alarming reality that their plans to liberate the mixed zones across the United Zones of The Authority might not come to fruition. While the resistance movement is growing outside the walls of the zones, the president’s forces are strengthening and putting citizens everywhere in more peril than ever. When Rain receives warnings that her cousin, Calista, has agreed to support plans to kill the mixed zones, and that her life could be on the line at the upcoming pure zone initiation ceremony, she must decide where her loyalties lie and if all of her allies can be trusted. As The Freedom Front use their abilities to unravel the mystery of the ceremony, The Authority captures some of their friends, forcing TFF to either go into hiding, or plan a rescue mission that could jeopardize everything they’ve been fighting for.

Buy NOW from Amazon - Paperback or Kindle

Hooray, it is finally release day for Nacreous! Thanks for stopping by the fabulous Release Day Blitz, organized by b00k r3vi3w Tours. To kick off the blitz, here are a couple of “Fun Facts” about my writing process… I hope you enjoy!

Writing Playlist:

So…Music. Some authors swear by it. They have their playlist set in the background while they pen their latest manuscript. Me? Not exactly. Music is very important to me. I believe in dance parties, and by dance parties I mean cranking up my I-pod to the music fitting my mood, be this salsa, classic rock, blues, country, classical, whatever, and dancing alone in my room or kitchen. (Yes, I said classical and country in the same list). My kids may or may not be in attendance. They like to watch and laugh. Sometimes, they join in. But as far as my writing process goes, the music is sort of my warm up. So I might turn on some music that fits my mood for parts of the story and listen to it in my car or at my desk before I write, but not while I am actually writing. I need it to be quiet in the room, so I can tell the story…(Ahem, hear what my characters are trying to tell me). ;) While I wrote Nacreous, and the other books in the Harmony Run Series, my favorite music warm-up to set the mood was Lorde. Specifically, the songs Team and A World Alone. In fact, if any of the books from my series could be made for film, I would beg producers to include one of those songs in the movies.

My Writing Process:

I can’t sit down and force myself to write everyday because it begins to feel too mechanical, but I am definitely one of those people who thinks about writing, story ideas, characters, scenarios all of the time, awake or asleep. I love using my dreams in my writing and have written a few of them into scenes in the Harmony Run Series. Back in college, the good ol’ stone ages, I had one of the most terrifying dreams of my life about a man with a triangular-shaped eye chasing me down a corridor, one door after the other, with this woman’s voice echoing all around us, telling him to kill me. When I got to the end of the corridor, I opened the last door, and he was standing there facing me. I woke up sobbing…About a year later, a psychology professor at my university asked some of us to share dreams with him so he could demonstrate dream analysis. I bravely raised my hand, (this was huge for me, since I am very shy in person), and shared my dream in vivid detail. After I finished talking, the entire class got eerily quiet and the professor told me I was dealing with issues beyond his realm of help, and went on to the next student’s dream. That student shared a dream about not being able to make a goal in a soccer match, and the professor dissected his dream in depth for fifteen minutes. Years later, I incorporated that dream, adding on some twists and turns of course, into book one from the Harmony Run Series, Prismatic. 

I also come up with ideas when I’m looking out of the kitchen window, when I’m walking, driving, cooking, gardening, taking my kids to martial arts, helping with their homework, basically, every waking moment. I take heaps of notes. I jot notes down for days. And when I’m ready, I sit down and type everything I can. I woke up the other night, and grabbed the notebook and pen beside my bed and wrote down an idea for another story. So my writing process is sort of a twenty-four hour thing. Oh, and probably the most important part of the process…How could I forget? My dog, Shorty, has to harass me to sit in my lap throughout the day. She eventually gives up and sleeps at my feet or nearby. She spares me the occasional glance or sighs every so often when I talk too much. Yes, I like to talk aloud to myself more often than not. If that dog could talk…Well, thankfully that’s not an issue. Here’s a photo of my writing pal…

Isn’t she cute? I hope you stick around to read about Nacreous. I’m going to look up that old psychology professor to see if he wants to read my latest book… ;)

Previous Books in the Series:

(Click on the Cover to know more)

About the Author:

Sarah Elle Emm is the author of the HARMONY RUN SERIES, a young-adult fantasy and dystopian series, released in May 2012 by Winter Goose Publishing. (PRISMATIC, May 2012, OPALESCENT, February 2013, CHATOYANT, September 2014, NACREOUS, August 2015) Her debut fiction novel, MARRYING MISSY, was published by Bird Brain Publishing in October 2011. Sarah is a graduate of The University of Evansville, she has lived and worked in Mexico, Germany, England, the U.S. Virgin Islands, and has traveled extensively beyond. Sarah lives in Naples, Florida with her family. When she’s not walking the plank of her daughters’ imaginary pirate ship or snapping photos of Southwest Florida scenery, she is writing.

Stalk the Author:

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Monday, 24 August 2015

Normal Days #53

Feeling Good

For the first time in a very long time this whole month I was very happy. May be this is coz of the holy month we observe known as Shravan or may be it is coz I've left the toxic, the negative ppl out of my life, I've no idea how & when did it happen, but I'm smiling and loving every second of it.

They say when you're feeling low surround yourself with ppl who care for you, who were there for you, who you know will always be there for you. But trust me, it is my personal experience, one bad person makes you do all wrong choices. I know you just can't stand up and start blaming someone else for all your actions but it happened for me and I truly regret it.

Though let me not dwell on the negatives. This auspicious month brought me all smiles. I've built the bridges which were once burnt by me. I'm at peace and happy again, all thanks to the almighty. I've also deleted few of my posts and I didn't bother to change the posts titles, coz I need to be reminded the time I wasted on a wrong person. In the end those who were not "real" are standing by me and didn't I tell you, I've always felt better with imaginary ppl ;)

So, all you guys out there, no matter if we talk, if we don't but pls know I'm grateful to know you all. It has been a pleasure and a privilege to share the same space, even if it was virtual coz you are still beside me, smiling with me and I'm praying for you all. I only hope that we come back together more fiercely after that hiatus. And I appreciate all those who have forgiven and moved on. Pls know I'm truly grateful.

So, let's move on together, create some smiles, live, laugh and be together for always. We are back together and I'm here to make you smile, make you feel beautiful, make you laugh and feel the bliss radiating in my chest.

Let's create magic.

(To be Contd..)

Saturday, 22 August 2015

Normal Days #52

If You See Her, Say Hello

I was thinking to make this a dark one, as this might shadow around the topic like death. I know it is considered a bit spacey for normal dinner talk but tonight I wanna dwell on that road.

Today my friend told me that one of her friend passed away. I won't go in details how it happened as she is at a happy place now. She told me may be she was trying for the ultimate rescue. Then it got me thinking how lonely she must have been to take that step? How alone she must have felt to drown her pain in all other things and how strong she once has been that she chose to forget even herself? Some ppl might call it selfish but then what choices do we have but not to hide in our make believe world and tell ourselves that yes!, we have love.

The finality of the situation, the truth about the inevitable, in our religion it is believed soul never dies. It merely changes bodies and start fresh. And yet it is also believed that if you want to escape this cycle of life & death you should attain moksha or Nirvana. So, you see you are still here, quite alive, breathing and if you're listening to me pls don't forget that you're loved. I didn't have the pleasure to know you but I do love you. Same broken hearts in search of love and all. Letting ppl walk all over us just in hope that we will be loved. Trust me I know the feeling. I've hidden myself in that fa├žade more often than not. So, I know when the other person is doing that. When you're fighting your hardest to care and wishing someone would just hug you and let you know how much they need you.

Strange how ppl think we need love, actually we love taking care of others. When someone says "We need you", we go beyond all measures to make 'em feel comfortable, happy and loved. This is what love is for us. But then we ask so much from ppl that they tend to forget that. No point in blaming. Ppl do that, and hence we are drawn to animals, non living things coz they don't desert us.

Damn I didn't want to be that open, that vulnerable about the innermost emotions. Though a piece of advise, we can be the cruelest too. No matter how much it breaks us once we are gone, we are gone.

So girl, I know you are up there, pls know you are remembered, loved and missed. I'll pray for you, always.

(To be Contd..)

Tuesday, 18 August 2015

Normal Days #51

Fix You

I don't know how to write this here. I've left this post in draft for 3 days, no clue from where to start or if I should start writing it for that matter. I'm doing it more as a therapeutic way to deal with the situations around me. I want to be honest about it and I could've but this isn't about me. I mean it is in a way that's why I'm writing it but I can only point out my flaws in front of everyone, not of ppl who matter in my life.

You can call it a venting kind of thing & this time I'm fixing myself as I've no one who will do that for me.

Melancholy and loneliness are the two things I'm getting familiar with now a days and trust me it is my choice all alone. I have no idea what I want. I just want to get lost in the nothingness. I'm waking up everyday, remembering all that was promised, all the sweet talks of the relationship, there is an ache in my heart, a constant jabbing, which I try to drown in work but whenever I've a lil moment it creeps upon me stealthily plunging the knife of betrayal a lil more deeper, making me wince, making me bleed. I thought it'd stop hurting after sometime  but boy was I wrong! Not a moment passes by when I do not think of every moment, every single second wondering what was the truth? What is the truth?

Is what I led to believe till this day is truth or what is happening now is the truth? The line is blurry, everything else is out of focus. The damn thing that I'm worried about is I'm not being able to read coz those novels destroyed me. I thought love was all about being in so much love that you forget your own self but practically if you do that ppl would walk all over you and blame you for that too.

Music is said to be ultimate reprieve, a safe haven but damn if it is not hard to listen to some songs even.

I'm taking it a day by day or rather I've divided my day into pieces as per my job breaks. One segment at a time.

Pray for me, coz I need too much love to survive. More than normal human being do, actually.

(To be Contd..)