Scattered Thoughts

Wednesday, 26 March 2014


There is always something about her, she always made me to dream big and maybe that's the reason I still love to dream. So, here's to you darling and for the memories we created.

She painted my heart,
With the red of her lips,
Making it permanent through my skin,
On to my heart beats.
Saying, "I want world to know I live here."
I held her close,
so close
our hearts were beating together,
with the same pace,
and then getting on fire,
I let her show me I'm hers,
She let me find me in her,
I searched for love in her eyes,
It was all in there, infinite
Her eyes had everything for me,
I knew I will never let her go.

Tonight, amidst these celestial bodies,
I feel like sky,
vast, infinite, with so much of people around me,
yet alone, like infinity more so ever.
She left me next day,
what she doesn't know
the mark of her lips are still impressed on my heart,
she didn't take 'em away.

Monday, 17 March 2014

Normal Days #25

I don't Wanna Miss A Thing

Today is Holi, a festival of colors, which I used to play enthutsiastically when I was a kid & today I'm here millions of miles away, with ppl who don't even know what this festival even mean. I'm feeling homesick. It has been almost 5 years since I was at home for this festival. I'm always away from home for all big festivals. Last year also I missed Holi along with Deepawali, in case you're wondering what these are, please just google 'em. I'm not in mood to explain.

So, I'm here at Arabian Gulf, in Zakum Field (as per ADMA-OPCO oil fields division) missing all the holidays, feeling nostalgic & in morning my mums calls to wish me the festivities & says she misses me. What am I supposed to do other than think if it is worth all of the separation? Then I go out, see the sea getting rough, the blue color of the ocean suddenly turning green & as I look out from my window I see WHT (Well Head Tower) & across it waves playing catch up with each other, then I sigh & feel a lil content that there's nothing better than this. I'm at the place where only a few guys can be. I'm working in Oil & Gas industry, I'm in the middle of ocean, amongst vast horizons & then I know 9-5 isn't for me.

I mean where else I can feel the ocean winds along with guys around me talking about the shutdown of current oil tower we are at. I mean it is not like I don't like other jobs, I do but I'm here, amongst all the awesomeness nature can shower upon me. The only thing I regret is I can't take pics. I wish I could share with whole world how amazing this world is but coz of some stupid offshore policy we aren't allowed to carry even a smartphone. Go figure!

Anyway, this holiday season when I'm missing my mums & festival of colors I'm grateful that I'm here basking in changing colors of skies & oceans & for the time being enjoying Holi as nature plays it.

I wish I could show you how I feel. May be one day when I'll buy an oil well I'll bring my friends & my mums over here then only they can imagine what I meant all along. Sometimes, you just have to experience on your own.

(To be contd..)

Becoming Nothing Again

There are times when you think you are going to make it but then as luck have it you do something and it all come crashing down, all what you've created, all what you've thought & all what you could've become. When you unintentionally do or say something & end up failing I think that shouldn't be a problem, you can't take blame for everything.

I don't know why but right now I'm taking blame for every catastrophe that's happening around world. And also for what we had but as always I'm jinxed and blew it up. May be when you are indifferent toward me then only it is alright. May be when we are strangers again then only you can smile.

If it is this way it is going to be then I'll go, I'm known to give up always, anyway.

So, here's to what we could've had but we didn't & I know no one's to blame but me..

Take me prisoner
chain my heart
leaving at your doorsteps
memories & some laughs
& whispers of promises
of all that we would've become
but we didn't
coz I dream too much
& you're always living in reality
I give up on everything
too easily
& burden on your shoulders gets too heavy
we are becoming nothing again

we don't talk much anymore
I feel you slipping away
I hold on too tight
& yet you're like sand
falling free
what's remain with me
in my heart
& hands
are memories
some laughs
& whispers of promises
& all that we would've become
but we didn't
we are becoming nothing again..

Wednesday, 12 March 2014

Normal Days #24

To Whom It May Concern


I was pressurised to write this

I wasn't about to come out from my self-imposed exile to write more. There are many reasons for that, first of all, I was feeling lazy. I've been doing extensive reading lately. So most of my thoughts, I am writing on my Goodreads portal. I'm up till ungodly hours to read books & escape from everyone & everything else. But then one day when I was on platform surveying the next supply vessel my Safety Engineer came to me & said, "what happened Vishal, why aren't you updating your blog now?" Let me tell you there were many other things which were said after that sentence but in a humorous way. It was good to know that there's someone who waits for my entry no matter how absurd they are. I mean my writings, not the person.

And need I mention that safety is a big issue in Oil & Gas industry as we are always working with many life prone hazards like H2S leak, turbulent weather, some accidents which can take place while some job is going on so we take these safety issues very seriously. I wrote this basically to, you know, impress if some b'ful girl reads this & want to save me when I come home during vacations.

But on a serious note, yeah we are prone to some dangers & we comply by safety rules here. Even then the beauty of this vast ocean never ceases to amaze me every time I go out at platform for some job. Anyway, so here I'm writing & missing the girl I left behind when I took that step for this job. I don't think Newton would ever have imagined his 3rd law of motion will come handy in personal issues of general population. But hey, there's always an equal & opposite reaction for your action. I'm living mine, daily. Every time I think of her wind get knocked out of my lungs & I feel like going hollow inside. I recover & move on, don't ask me how, even I don't know how I manage to breathe.

And I've assholes to deal with here too. So, I get along fine with memories.

Safety is life after all :)

And I don't know why I'm writing all these random stuff where nothing is in coherence with other but it feels good to write again. May be I'm mourning over the loss of one of my writes a few weeks ago. It was on some tissue paper & I've not been able to find it. May be I'll write something else.

(To be contd..)

Wednesday, 5 March 2014


And I dream again, of all the times & I dream of your hand in mine, our eyes locked and many more things which we do. Let me just say, I'll be happy to do 'em to you when we will meet someday. For the time being let me write to you about the time when we will go on our second date (yes, it is a dream too.)

So baby wear the pretty dress, or PJs I don't mind you look phenomenal to me & tonight I don't think you'll be wearing 'em longer than necessary. Or we can take a raincheck on date & create a storm of our own where I get drench in your love & you drip wet in mine. (But sweetheart we already established I'm a pervert, right :P) Hey, don't worry darling we will go out, you wanna know what we did ;)

Here it is

Let me take your hand
as we leave your place
wrap my pinkie around yours
a solemn promise
with no words
coz they aren't necessary
& yet it feels like
you have known what was said

Let me smile,
& in those warm eyes
find your smile too

Let just talk
not with words
but hands, tongues, kisses & moans

Let's break the 3 dates rules
or whatever there are more
what scares you to dive in
deep with me
coz I know Flower
it's me & you
we are for ETERNITY

Damn, I didn't mention the restaurant this time too. I guess food is not my priority when I have you with me. I'm hungry now, may I eat you up :D
What! I'm a gentleman, I ask for permission.

Tuesday, 4 March 2014

Normal Days #23


It has been 48 hours since I slept last & still I have to work 8 hours more before I hit the bed. I'm on autopilot & I don't even know what I'm writing. It is just I'm reading & reading & reading books & loving every word of it. & to top that today I had a lot of work do, not even a minute to breathe that's when I decide I should write all of this in case I kill someone I have some case of sanity issues to plead, covering all my bases. The only upside to today's day is weather is awesome. There is this haze, kind of foggy so no sun hence the day is on a cooler side.

I have written lot of stuff but I ain't gotta time to write it down, I'll do it given my laziness and all.

I don't understand why ppl have to come & talk to me about the stuff I don't give a damn about. I'm not in mood any day but today I'm beyond pissed. I'm looking for someone to entice me to tear something / someone apart. It is not like that I'm a violent kind of guy I'm just too agitated & volatile now. Just 60 hrs without sleep and I've my panties in a bunch. God I don't even know what I am doing. Writing & writing & writing stuff which I won't remember the next day.

I need to sleep tonight, a good 8-10 hrs of sleep but I know as soon as I hit the bed all of this queasiness will go & I'll be up again to finish another book. It is better than any other addiction in world though.

I think I should stop while I have some wake up cell in my brains.

Just 7 hrs & 50 minutes to go.

(To be contd..)