Scattered Thoughts

Saturday, 30 November 2013

The Denied Love


In some far away world there was a lil boy who had everything & everyone. He lived in a lil home with 1 room, kitchen/bathroom and with his father & mother. They might not had the luxury of life but they had the most important thing which made their life full of smiles. They had love for each other. They all ate their meals together & they always thanked God every night for the b'ful life they had. The lil guy was just 4 years old & has just started going to school. He used to learn all the rhymes & stories there & in night asked his father to tell him more.

His father was a blue collar worker in some construction company & his mother was housemaid at some rich & expensive household. Life was not easy for them but they were getting up everyday & fighting their way to it. The kid was loved in abundance and both his mother & father always take care of him. Life was going good for them but then one day his father got sacked because of the job cut & he lost his job. That day was when everything started to fall apart for that flabbergasted family. The time were going to be hard & their beliefs were going to be tested. The love, which was superfluous irrespective of the inflow of cash, which was all unconditional will also be questioned. Let's take a look if they'd fall apart under all of the situations or will they stick through all thick & thin.


What am I supposed to do now? How am I supposed to put food on the table for us & what about all the bills? I have to take care of this situation & be the man which my wife wants me to be & to set a better example for my son that no matter what hardship we are facing we should always have faith in ourselves & God. I'll talk to Martha and consult her as what are our options under the given circumstances. I hope we all get out of this unscathed & strong. She is the one who has always been on my side. And my kid, what on earth I'm going to tell him? His father has lost his job & with my qualifications & this current economy there is no hope either. They expectant face of my wonderful kid as he beam proudly at his old man, what he'd see now save dejection & beatings of life. Why this had happened to our family? We were happy together we never asked for anything more. Why did God robbed us of every lil thing we created our world with?

You might think that I'm over reacting but when you've nothing in sight but today you have every reason to be panicked. I don't think I have ever thought about what I'd do when I'd have nothing to do.

From here this story can take any turn. The father can leave the two after taking a bullet to his pride daily or he can get a job. I don't know what's going to happen.  But I'll write it, don't even know when.

(To be contd..)

Normal Days #11

Bring Me to Life

I've edited this post many a times before even starting. I just want it to be coming from the heart not like I'm writing for the sake of it. I don't feel when it is forced or somewhat in lack of emotions.

The new look for my blog I've to thank again the b'ful friend of mine. She has always helped me with everything. I don't know where I'd have been if not for her support &, I don't know if I should be using this word, her faith in me. I just wish everyone should have a friend like her.

It has been 2 years almost when we first talked & it has been a wonderful journey so far. We do have different opinions about most of the things, literal & factual, but in the end she's the one with whom I can always be me. she doesn't mind my being weird or whatever goofy things I do or say. I know it is kind of lame of me saying all this here but I don't care because as I said earlier whenever I'd do something crazy & I'll, I'm jinxed that way, I'd always know that how blessed I'm to have her.

It is not exaggeration all what I said is all what I mean and to think I'm embarrassing myself by writing all this, well, it is all I can think to thank the girl which means world to me. I'm so honored & blessed to know her. She is very amazing for me.

Hope she doesn't get mad, if she ever reads it.

(To be contd..)

Thursday, 28 November 2013

Book Blast : Slide by Michelle Congdon

After surviving a horrific car accident that claimed the lives of her mother and brother, Evangeline made a promise to herself to never go back to the city filled with the memories of her tragic past. But when her estranged father suddenly falls ill, she has no choice but to return to New York and to the life she spent twelve years trying to avoid.
Since the accident, heiress to the multi-billion dollar Montgomery Empire, Evangeline has always feared the media attention that comes with having the Montgomery name and would immediately give it all up if it meant the chance to bring back her loved ones. Delicate and camera shy, the last person she should have on her mind is a type of guy like Ryan Fox.
Witty, extremely arrogant but undeniably good-looking are only a few words Evangeline can use to describe the New York Yankee’s hot-shot. The notorious bad boy― well-versed at playing the game both on and off the field― isn't fazed about the media circus following his every move and couldn't be anymore different to the quiet, shy girl that she is. So, what does a guy like him see in somebody as messed-up as her? And although everything about Ryan screams trouble with a capital T, why can't Evangeline seem to stay away? It's not until they're away from the cameras that Evangeline begins to see the real man hiding behind the cocky facade- one that's hurt and haunted by a dark and terrible secret.
What will happen once Evangeline finds the courage to reveal what really happened on the evening her mother and brother died? And how will she react when she finally learns the truth about Ryan's chilling past? Will baring their deepest secrets bring them closer together or will it tear them apart and have them sliding into darkness all over again?


Full name: Ryan Aaron Fox
Age: 24
Date of birth: 15th February 1989
Race: American/ Italian
Gender: Male
Height: 6’4
Weight: 205lb
Eye color: Greenish Hazel
Distinguishing features: Dimple on left cheek
Build of body: Tall, Athletic
Hair color: Dark Brown
Hair style: Wavy, Medium Length
Complexion: Olive

Current residence: New York City
Occupation: Pitcher for the New York Yankees
Hometown: New Jersey
Parents: Joseph & Serafina Fox
Siblings: Chiara, Liliana, Gabriella & Annabelle
Hobbies/past times: Collecting sports cars and artwork, attending and supporting local charities, spending time with family, watching the NBL, modeling.
Talents: Highest paid baseball player in the MLB to date.
Favorite types of music: R&B, Alternative, Old School Rock.
Favorite types of food: Mom’s homemade Italian cooking, Sushi and Pizza.
Favorite types of drink: Beer, Scotch and vintage Champagne.

Ryan picked up his first baseball at the tender age of six. He played throughout his school years and was drafted into the major leagues by the New York Yankees two weeks before his sixteenth birthday. He played his first game in the same week, placing him in the same category as some of youngest players in the world.

During the past eight years, Ryan has impressed the baseball world by winning two MVP Awards, Rookie of the Year and two Cy Young Awards. He has also made six All-Star game appearances.

When not busy training, playing ball or modeling for endorsements, Ryan likes to spend his down time helping his favorite charities, going to NBL games and going out with his friends and teammates.

He would do absolutely anything for his family and is very protective of his sisters, especially Annabelle. Since his father’s passing, Ryan has made it his duty to be a strong, positive role model to his youngest sister.

Ryan has had no previous relationships due to his baseball commitments. He prefers to have one-night stands, so neither party has time to develop feelings. That is until Evangeline Montgomery walked into his life…

About the Author

Michelle Congdon resides in Sydney, Australia. She has a Dalmatian named Jett, who to this day continues to hold an 8 year grudge against her after she had to leave him with her parents when she moved to the big city- this only proves animals are much like their owners. Michelle enjoys reading books of all sorts of genre's, watching way too many movies and TV shows (and Disney cartoons), singing out aloud to her favorite hits and going on adventures involving food and travel. Michelle is loud, talks a lot and shares an ever-growing list of fictional husbands with a friend. From when she was a small girl, she has always had an overactive imagination and has tried to put it to good use by sharing her stories with anyone willing to listen.

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Sunday, 10 November 2013

Normal Days #10

World spins madly on

Despite of the title of the song I chose today I'm feeling very wonderful. This band 'The Weepies' was suggested to me by my very b'ful friend. She has always be the one who inspires me, always gives me the nudge in the right direction.

Memories come & go, some days I just wonder what good I did to have her in my life. I know if I want to thank her I could never do that because the words which could convey what I feel aren't enough. And she's the one who inspired me to find the perfect world in the words. In fact she always goes beyond everything & helps me to find me when I'm not myself. I know I'm kind of extremist guy & she won't approve of this crazy thing I'm doing right now (she usually dislikes when we just say things) but hey, as of now 'Words & words are all I have to take your heart away.'

I think I'm the luckiest guy in the world to have her as my friend & it is not a testimonial or anything, it is just me trying to make sure that I'm not living a dream, to remind my future self that what I've & not to throw it away because of my issues & insecurities.

I wish everyone has a friend like you, call me selfish but I want you for myself.

(To be contd..)

Saturday, 9 November 2013

Normal Days #9

I hope to see you smile but I'm always wrong

I know I'll be judged again for what I'm about to write & truly speaking I'm also tired of myself while I write about the same stuff over & over again. It is like I can write about only one thing & may be that is the problem with me that I don't take my imagination to the next level. I'm always stuck up with the same pathetic hopes & beliefs that one day The Girl who got Away will be in my arms for real.

I'm in middle of Arabian Gulf, I marvel at the nature's finest display of love every single day. I see the sun rising from the sea bed, turning the water into coppery color when it goes down, I see the fishes doing the dances underwater even when I am all surrounded with oil wells, rigs, machines & what not I still see the stars studded like diamonds. I see the Seagulls floating on water & may be because of the sound of machines on board I can't hear their cries but I still intently listen when they fly too close to our helideck.

The place I'm in & the name I've given you, you're always on my mind. I also know I'm sounding kind of pathetic but who cares what world thinks of me. Anyway, feeling so alone & so loved right now I have no idea how to describe these emotions. Sea under my feet, blue sky above my head, wind caressing me as I surrender me to all this magic. I know there will be a day when my dream will come true; when I'll buy an oil well & all of my friends & family will visit, seeing what I see here every day, feeling the same magic which I feel every day. The complexities which drive this industry while managing the world politics.

That reminds me I've a promise to fulfill about writing an article on Oil & gas Industry for my very special & b'ful friend.

This isn't turning out to be quite a pathetic write now, is it?

Well, there is always another day, eh. :D

(To be contd..)

Thursday, 7 November 2013

Normal Days #8

High on sugar

Today I've been in my best form and if you're wondering what that is, well it is always the same, I'm confused like a ball of wool tangled in another ball of wool where the third ball of wool is also rolling with us somewhere.

You get my point.

Now coming back to the situation, I'm like a guy who is in the toy store with the choice to pick up as many as toys & I don't know from where to begin. (OK fine I couldn't come up with any perfect analogy, sue me, I explained before I'm not acting mature today). Anyway the thing is that I've too many books to read. There is Greek Mythology on one side then great fictional characters on the other, from one side there are books on Buddhism which I always wanted to read and then there are few books which I want to clear before committing to new books. I don't know what to do & I also don't want to read one book at a time. I want to read 2-3 books at a time. It is like you're tasting food & enjoying the sensation to take you somewhere else. (I know, I know not a perfect analogy again, but who gives a damn when I'm so confused!)

God! Where are my split personalities when I need 'em most? And to top that I've to do the job and in the hindsight I know when I'll go home I won't read a single word. I'm kind of guy who likes to read when in constraints. At home I'm free to do whatever I want & the thing which I want most now (read books) I won't do it then.

Am I making any sense?

Who cares? I'm just confused. Please help me God. Please tell me I've to take one book at a time & I shouldn't worry what's happening in the other parallel universe.

God I'm so high on nervous energy I want to shout out.

Please help me God.

So many books, so little time.

Normal Days #7

Take me as I'm

Y'day night when I was talking to my friend, she said I was sounding like a serious, sincere guy. I don't know why but I felt that this job has changed me after all. I'm acting mature, grown up, is a kind of thing I've never been accused of. I know there is still some depravity left somewhere in me. I hate being practical. I still believe that when we are not looking or when we are oblivious, all the things talk to each other. Like pens talking to books, chairs talking among themselves or having a discussion with tables or cutlery. Everybody has a life, just because we don't know doesn't mean it isn't.

Yes, after reading it aloud I still feel like I'm the same weird guy. I don't want to lose this side of me to the cold world of reality, ever. I guess I have to stop being so mature about everything I do or say. Though I don't try to but sometimes maturity stuff just comes out & people think I'm growing up. Damn the rules of society. But when she called I was sleeping maybe I can blame it on my state of unconsciousness. Yes, that seems about right. Anyway time to go all kind of crazy.

I'm suddenly feeling happy that I'm still the same ol' me ;)

Go ahead say it, today you can accuse me of anything. I acted like a sincere guy afterall :P

(To be contd..)

Saturday, 2 November 2013

Normal Days #6

How I wish you were here

Sometimes there's a moment & that is all it takes to get lost in the sea of memories. I was just wondering if I'm a broken record always thinking about the things which are not with me rather than be glad about what I've. I write for lost love, the old times, memories I think of all those things may be what I've right now in front of me is slipping away because of all this nostalgia.

As I relive all those moments again I wish on stars for all the love. The only thing which I always hope that everyone should be loved; there should be one person in everyone's life whom you love with all the devotion. And why all these thoughts? Because tomorrow is Deepawali, a big festival for us & for all the 27 years of my existence this is the first time I'm away from home. The only thought which bothers me is that I'm not missing it as fervently as I should. Does that make me a bad person? I tend to think that I'm not. Or am I?

Well, let's leave it for some higher powers to decide; right now my only concern is that I am not at home for Deepawali this year, or for Christmas or for New Year. I love my job, I love being here but sometimes I wish I had some boring 9-5 job where by the end of the day I'd be at home relaxing, enjoying & doing whatever I feel like doing.

Reminds me of a song line

kabhi kisi ko mukammal jahan nahi milta
kahin zameen to kahin aasmaa nahi milta

And may be you can call me pessimistic or glass half full guy, I'm not. Why am I not missing the festivities which are taking place back at home? Damn me!

Confusing again? Thanks the Heavens for that, I haven't lost my touch.

(To be contd...)