Scattered Thoughts

Wednesday, 30 April 2014

Normal Days #27

Have Love Will Travel

This time I'm exhausted, the work is hectic & it takes my mind off you. Some part of me wants to forget everything because it is better to give up on everything, every dream & every expectations then watch them falling apart. But no matter how hard I want to try I can't give upon hopes. I don't want my mind off you. I don't want to miss the pain. I don't want to miss the feeling of loneliness. Work will always be there but given a chance I'd rather bury myself with words spilled over books taking me away to you than boring my eyes in useless technical data.

I don't know what I'm writing. I'm at a loss & suddenly devoid of feelings. I'm feeling scared though, I think in the long run I'll lose you. My job profile & the distance is always going to ruin things up not to mention I've to fight myself too as I'm a colossal fuck-up but no matter what I'm not going to give up on my dreams. I'm too screwed up to think something good is waiting for me. I am always looking for some shoe to drop & just like that you'll be gone from my life.

And the place I'm at doesn't help a bit. So many love stories spread around me ocean yearning for horizon, moon spilling over ocean, sun shining down on sea whole day. What I'm supposed to do ignore everything & all these b'ful love stories? I'd live in dreams than reality where there's no place for these emotions, where I've to be practical & act professional.

What if being in constant state of dream is my profession? But I know given my trait I'd give upon dreams also.

Was it a confusing write? Well I'm all over the place anyway.
May be tomorrow is a better day.

(To be Contd..)

Tuesday, 22 April 2014

Normal Days #26

Back to you

Here I'm again, amidst the vast ocean, crashing waves, rising sun, glowing moon & thoughts of you, only you. I don't know why but when I'm here & like you said "in middle of nowhere" I feel you closer to me. May be this idea I've in my head where you'll love me someday is not far fetched here where I see ocan waving around in search of love too. I feel his restlessness & unease. I know it may seem endless to most of the ppl but when he looks out for his love he knows no matter how magnificent others think of him he's still lost & may be that's why he keeps crashing around.

And his lover, horizon, well she's endless too & no matter how many times I say it but their love story is all b'ful. It amazes me everytime. I know my love for you is the same. You're like a horizon one which is out of my reach every single time. No matter how hard I try but there are many more guys out there better than me, worth than me & who am I, I'm no one.

But then I wish & wish for us to be altogether & wish with all my heart & suddenly I'm the ocean with vastness & yet empty without you. I yearn fro you in moonlight & burn without your touch when sun is up. I dream that you're thinking me of too. But then it is a wistful thinking. I know I'm not even worht your memory but a guy can dream, right? I just hope that my dreams are not shattered by reality once I get back home.

Let me dream a lil more, yeah?