Today, as fate has already decided for me, I'll be writing about making thy own grave. The part where you sabotage your happiness on your own. Most of the ppl I know do that a lot actually.
Sometimes time isn't by your side and sometimes that happens so often that you think if you have been cursed. Believe me, the time you want to be left alone is also the time you want to be loved and loved so much that all your fears get washed away. Talk about hitting the axe on your own foot. You do all the wrong things, send the wrong signals to the ppl who care about you or at least pretend do, even pretending seems to take much of an effort, so kudos to them. Pushing ppl away and then secretly wish someone would call your bluff and love you, hug you and tell you that they love you no matter what, not a dream that could come true my friend. Sometimes you want to be alone and wonder if it is the right thing to do. Sometimes there aren't much of right things to do, there are all wrong things but you might have to choose which the least wrong. You know you're doing wrong by escaping into the oblivion but there's no wrong & right. These are the choices which we make to save our sanity.
Love which I so fervently talk about might not be true, it might get lost in the time frame but never let it get lost from you. You always have to believe that love will be coming around for you and those who love you will accept you for what you're.
I know this write is nothing new what you haven't heard since you were growing up but being alone sometimes let the hurt fade away. It helps you to know that no matter what you say or believe some ppl are destined to be alone. They are to hope that love exists in fairy tales and not for them. May be it is true but some of us choose to believe that fairy tales do come true and when they are about to come true well all we can hope not to disrupt the ending by doing something stupid and hence the hiding away. But no matter what we do fate catches up and let us know that love isn't for everybody, for some it is always in pages of books and in some fantasy. Love sure is over rated when I come to think of it. But I'll always believe in love. Hurting the ones you love, disappointing people who believe in you, failing miserably keeping up the hopes, join the club.
See all the magic of nights, colors of nature, vastness of oceans all these things might remind you of someone but you've no one but you and darkness which slowly is engulfing the loneliness in darkness too.
Confusing today..naah not so much. Feeling down..may be.
May be tomorrow is a better day.
(To be contd..)