Normal Days #16

Hard Road

The weather here is a lil cold, well it is as cold as it gets but wind is a lil harsh around ~28-30 knots, if you don't know what that means imagine a tree swaying in the wind wildly that what it feels like. Did I explain it correctly? Who cares? I'm not here to talk about weather or wind speeds in Arabian Gulf, not all the time at least. So, why am I here? Even I don't know. May be I was thinking about something which I wanted to write down so that I can read it later on when I'm not feeling good. I don't read what I write generally once I'm done with them unless I'm reasonably feeling low.

What am I even saying? Sometimes I don't even get myself. Here I'm trying desperately to write about a single thought which was on my mind since I opened up this page but instead of writing about it I'm doing God knows what.

First of all the weather which we have now a days is perfect. Sea is rough, sometimes the tides reach to a level of 7-8 feet high, the sky is grey, I know it is kind of gloomy in western cultural sense, call me sinister or whatever I love this kind of weather. The feeling of loneliness which comes up with this kind of surroundings is welcoming sometimes. I wonder if that is why I'm in this kind of job where I can hide from everyone who is normal. It has been days I'd talked to another soul. May be the reason for that is I don't have enough time to read a lot. Thanks a lot to few of my colleagues. Losers.

But giving a serious thought about the situation I avoid ppl as much as I can & being in the world of my own serves me a lot better. I wrote a few lines today & as they are some rhyming stuff I can't post them as individual post

I'm up for a heartbreak,
you can break mine,
slowly, bit by bit
take all your sweet time,
the melancholy some lil pain,
my sentence didn't come with a reprieve
this dull ache on my heart
I hope it never subsides

I don't know what's this is about this time; I don't want to dissect it like I always do with things. I think it is OK sometimes to let the pain remain without any reason. I hope I can laugh about it someday or let it dwell & grow within my chest just like my heartbeats so that I can feel alive because it is pain that makes you believe you're living, right? May be I just grow a pair & stop being so sissy about everything. Yeah, that would be cool! In some parallel universe maybe I'm trying to get out of office from some boring 9-5 job. I'm laughing at that pathetic loser me.

Weird. That's me :)

(To be contd..)