Normal Days #80

Paperback Writer

Oh! How do I say it? Word seems to fail me. I do not know from where to start actually, how to pen down the thoughts raging in my mind since 2 days & 3 nights now. I have worked down the middle of this write & I am confident ending will sure come along. It is the beginning I can not seem to fathom for everything, relations, writes, thoughts, life, you name it I have screwed it.

Anyway, this is not about what I do wrong always, it is about those things every human being should have, a recluse, a safe place to go to. For some it is their loved ones, for some, it is their family but for some, some nomadic souls like me it is the books. And not the self help crap, I am confident (rather over confident) that there is nothing in those books which can improve the way I live. At least I will not change the way I approach the problem just because some douche said it so. But give me stories, give me fiction, give me the world where there is hope, anguish, dreams, love, lots of love coz the romantic in me does not want to give up on the mirage in lieu of reality.

I have been blessed with good friend of mine who is the reason I found all those books and all those people. And of course my mums when she introduced me to that world when I was a kid. I still believe Sherlock Holmes is real, I find Jack Reacher, Elvis Cole, Harry Potter and so many more wonderful literary creations alive even when I have finished the book. And then there is Ms. Ellen O' Connell. She gave me a thing, a love, one of its own kind which has destroyed the reality for me and I so much relate to this quote here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is this ache in my heart to feel like that, to be that much in love, to have that much of love, to build that much love, but then life happens and I am left running to more of the hideouts (read books).

 

So here I am fighting reality, immersing myself in some parallel universe, detaching myself from everything and wondering how much high I can get before reality brings me down again.

And I am reading Eyes of Silver, Eyes of Gold yet again.

 

Same Drugs

 

(To be Contd..)



Normal Days #79

I am Gonna be (500 Miles)

Infinitesimal. A small speck in this large and unknown cosmos. Everything & then nothing in this giant scheme of the universe. This and so much more I felt when I traveled to Ras Al Khaimah today from Abu Dhabi. It was a car ride and hence I could experience the infinite of sand spread around me everywhere. It was a feeling I will never forget.

I have seen oceans. I have traveled a lot and I rarely wrote about all those experiences of mine coz I feel such intense feeling that when I wish to pen 'em down I seem at loss of words. That says a lot about my vocabulary though!

Jokes aside, I feel blessed that I have seen so much and experienced the beauty & destructions of nature at first hand.

How am I blessed when I have witnessed the destructions, you ask? Well, it will be a long answer and I do not really wish to go off course with this write anyway. Coming back to Ras Al Khaimah. It is a province under UAE, same as we have states in US & India. It is one of the states of UAE. It is like one of those quaint and quiet towns where you cannot be anonymous. Consider it is a small town. Two-way roads, greenery, silent streets and the one which I admired the most is the unsynchronized way nature is here. I have been in UAE for more than 5 and a half years now, I have seen the planned cities like Abu Dhabi, Dubai, Sharjah, though I like 'em all I never would have thought that RAK will be so wonderful and magical. When we first entered the boundaries of this wonderful city it was sand on both of the sides of the highway and I never would have imagined that it would glitter like gold and suddenly it would turn into a shade of red stone. That is when I knew I had to write this down to remember this journey.

And why I took this journey? Well there is a meeting in Abu Dhabi and I am traveling with my boss and he is from RAK so I got this opportunity to see the wonders of nature on my own. The experience is so unique coz all those years I am here in UAE I had never traveled to any of the places. I left 'em to enjoy with a b'ful company. Anyway, experiencing this unsynchronized city after all the order and planning felt so refreshing. And the sand dunes, oh! if only I had a camera with me. I would have shared the beauty of the place.

Tomorrow we leave early morning and I hope to see the rising sun across the horizon and welcoming me to the new day and to the better life.

Till then like Frank Sinatra said

Come Fly With Me...

(To be Contd..)

Normal Days #78

Live Like You Were Dying

Today I wanna write about some scary stuff. It is the most dangerous thing after humans & I do not have much knowledge about it, not because I am ignorant about the magnitude of its graveness, it is more of an Ostrich kind of an attitude. "If I can not see 'em, they can not see me." I know it is not practical or realistic but neither am I. Again, it is not about my attitude towards life & its various problems, it is about CANCER!

Lately I have been hearing / reading this word way too often. I lost my colleague's sister to this disease. One of my other colleague is also fighting a battle against it. There are so many ways everyone thinks to leave this world, to make a difference, to pass on all the knowledge they have to their loved ones but this disease robs so much from everyone. I have known a survivor of this battle and yet I still refuse to acknowledge or give cancer the attention to be that important in my life.

I am scared of this disease.

I have seen it raking havoc on ppl you love. And as I am not a fighter, I do not think I would want to hang around to see ppl who love me, watch me wither away. I would just give up coz I have never been good with ultimatums & threats or someone making me to do things while holding a gun to my head. Cancer is just like that. I am scared of hospitals!

This disease, even when you defeat the crap out of it, never leaves you. Some corner of your heart always have this fear, this nagging doubt whether it is all gone or not. I send a prayer for everyone out there, every single person please never stop living your life. I know there are plans and there are schedules and there are deadlines but never, ever stop experiencing love. Tell your kids, your parents, your florist, your colleagues that you appreciate 'em, their efforts, their patience with you. And even when you can not be nice never forget ppl will forget what you said to 'em but they will never forget how you made 'em feel.

Me?

I'm Gonna Love You Through It

(To be Contd..)

Normal Days #77

Seven Spanish Angels

As I sit down to write this I am listening to 'Seven Spanish Angels' by Bryan Adams. I do not usually write about the songs as I always dedicate at the beginning and the end of each post. I do not exactly know when I started doing that and I am too lazy to go back and figure that out but I know I have written another post about a Kodaline song 'All I want'.

So here I am again writing about this song and the reason that I am doing this might contribute to the fact that I am high on emotions (good, bad, anger, love, masochism, etc..). Lately I have been reading good books, positive books and I am dreaming of this perfect world out there not worrying about the reality already knocking on my door, not worrying about anything in this moment save focusing on the lyrics and wondering the love and the times and the history of Texas.

It is no secret that I love Texas, especially those times when it was nothing but wilderness out there. I know those were terrible times & the cheapest thing out there was life and all kind of dangerous men lived out there but the hopeless romantic in me believes that life thrived even after then, even after everything was against them and later the Yankees coming down with all the force and means to destroy the independence. I have to believe there was love coz otherwise what would there be if it was not love. How would there be songs & stories like this if there were not hopes & dreams?

I am listening to this song and wondering if I am capable of loving like this. Lately I have been thinking more about what I do for ppl instead of what ppl do for me. May be it is a part of growing up and being mature but I will not think that high of myself; yet. So if I am not giving everything in love, not giving my heart out for you to do as you please with it and keep guarding some part of it how can I ask you to give it all to me?

And as I listen to the song again on repeat there are so many thoughts about those times and I am thinking that what would you think if I write here all those but then if I can't be crazy enough here where can I be?

Break my heart or keep it safe, it is all up to you coz I am giving it all this time, risking it all to love you completely and like they have said

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Love never fails.

I wanna grow old with you

(To be Contd..)

Normal Days #76

Pretty Good Year

So, again, after six months or so, huh.

Yes, I am alive and I am active. It is just a habit of mine I want to shrug off, this habit where I refrain from certain good habits and then it gets too difficult to go back and yet here I am.

So 2017 was a pretty mixed year for me, professionally it was a mixed year but I passed it without any hiatus. On the personal luxury front, well, I do have some good news to share. I do not wanna boast about it but I bought a car, full payment no loans or whatsoever. It is the best feeling. To not to owe anyone. I do still feel some remorse whenever I drive it though. The carbon emission and all. Hence I don't drive much and that is why I have only 2500 KMs on it ( for my metric friendly readers  1550 miles) and it has been 9 months now.

I bought gold also, very b'ful gold earrings. I love gold, call me old fashioned but gold is what makes my eyes shine. Not the craze of diamonds or platinum, it is the luster of gold I crave for. I shall upload the pics of those earrings later it is late right now.

And finally, I bought myself the future of phones, iPhone X. I bought it and I am loving it.

Also on literally level, I am 48% fluent in Spanish. I am learning the b'ful language, maybe to impress you ;)

So if we talk next time and I greet you like hola! Cómo estás?
Don't fall in love with my accent and my broken Espanol.

Te Amo :)

To be Contd..