Scattered Thoughts

Sunday, 30 November 2014

Normal Days #33

My Paper Heart

Everyday when I open my eyes, even before I'm up I hold on to the dreams of you. That time when you're here with me even in my fantasy I believe that we are together. The moment when I open my eyes I still have a smile on my face & I wonder what it'd have been like to wake up next to you everyday for rest of my life. But then as they say you can't always get what you want, so I do the next best thing. I try to memorise you, to remember you.

Memories have a funny way to vanish, don't they? One day you remember every thing in a vivid detail and the next you start losing fragments of it a lil day by day shredding some of it someday then losing a big chunk the next. No matter how hard you try to hold on to 'em they slip away like sand. But when you wish to let 'em go, somehow they get stuck on your palm, like ocean sand & they travel with you no matter where you go.

I stand still when I look at someone looking like you, my heart beating fast and I pray it better not be you but when I realise that ain't you it breaks my heart lil more. So, I'm here amidst words, hoping one day you'd read 'em, finding me that some part of me will never let you go and I'll keep screwing up every good thing. One of these days I'll find a way to get out of this blackhole. Or become more of it, wallowing in self pity and self loathing.

One of these days

(To be Contd..)

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