Have Love Will Travel
This time I'm exhausted, the work is hectic & it takes my mind off you. Some part of me wants to forget everything because it is better to give up on everything, every dream & every expectations then watch them falling apart. But no matter how hard I want to try I can't give upon hopes. I don't want my mind off you. I don't want to miss the pain. I don't want to miss the feeling of loneliness. Work will always be there but given a chance I'd rather bury myself with words spilled over books taking me away to you than boring my eyes in useless technical data.
I don't know what I'm writing. I'm at a loss & suddenly devoid of feelings. I'm feeling scared though, I think in the long run I'll lose you. My job profile & the distance is always going to ruin things up not to mention I've to fight myself too as I'm a colossal fuck-up but no matter what I'm not going to give up on my dreams. I'm too screwed up to think something good is waiting for me. I am always looking for some shoe to drop & just like that you'll be gone from my life.
And the place I'm at doesn't help a bit. So many love stories spread around me ocean yearning for horizon, moon spilling over ocean, sun shining down on sea whole day. What I'm supposed to do ignore everything & all these b'ful love stories? I'd live in dreams than reality where there's no place for these emotions, where I've to be practical & act professional.
What if being in constant state of dream is my profession? But I know given my trait I'd give upon dreams also.
Was it a confusing write? Well I'm all over the place anyway.
May be tomorrow is a better day.
(To be Contd..)