Dying

I'm killing myself
everyday
to stay alive
fighting myself
to breathe
before drowning
into oblivion
& forget
everything
which keeps the blood running
in my veins

I'm shunning my dreams
& living in reality
like my own obituary
where I die
daily
to smile
& pretend
that I'm OK
& everything's fine

so when I'm not there
to listen
or to hold you
just imagine
that when I remember you
I only smile
& that's the only dream
I won't let go
even as I'm dying