I can dream about you
Of all the things I should do, of all the things I should let go of, of all the things I should never let my mind dwell on and of all the ppl I should not think about and all these don'ts and do's and all the give ups and undo's, I should let go of all your memories. And yet..and yet..and yet..
You haunt me like ghosts and your memories have chained me to this ethereal world where you were mine. Hands in hands, promises of forever's, so much hope and all that love.
Damn all that love. Why reality never lets me breathe and why don't you let me go? My kind of broken who don't get fixed easily, the criticality seeped in so deeply it forbodes any feeling to prosper but selfishness. At least break me completely so that I can fix myself. This kaleidoscopic pattern of light and darkness amidst the sunshine of your smile has rendered me useless for the world and I am left for everyone as a husk of the being. Why have I allowed this hold of you on me?
Why do I let you haunt me? Do I use it as an excuse, to put all the blame on you, when I fail spectacularly? Why I always have to be this disconnected from everyone? What have I done?
**sighs**
After all these years I still do not learn. I refuse to give up, I refuse to not have hope, I refuse to not yearn for you, howl for you and pray for you. The hopeless romantic in me is always happy and I look for heartbreak in words now, coz no one broke it like you did and no one can break it like you did and no can fix it, I have come to admit it.
One of these days, like Bryan Adams once sang:
